Something Big: The Past
The present is too much for me to comprehend. To try and understand the truth behind history is impossible. It is impossible for us to understand the motives of prominent historical figures and major events that took place. It is completely irrational to label history as "noble," "patriarchal," "ethnocentric," or "oppressive." There are too many details that I don't know to put a label to it. While I do my best to understand the details that I know, I will never fully understand what happened in the past. Who to credit, and who to blame.
Something Broken: My Willpower
I can tell myself that I need to study for seven hours straight, but I will not even get through the first half hour without resistance from myself. It makes me wonder; who is really controlling me? Some call it the battle of the "natural man," but that name is only words associated with a part of the psyche that is incomprehensible. We call it the "natural man" to label it; but we don't understand what it is, where it came from, or why it is always with us.
Something Artistic: Les Miserables
Les Miserables is one of my favorite stories. The transcendent yet relatable themes leave me in awe. Terrible things happen to well-meaning characters (hence its title) yet I was more satisfied with the ending of that story than any other story I have come across. I can't tell if Les Miserables gave me more faith that justice would ultimately reign or that I could trust in the mercy of the transcendent.
Something Mysterious: My Interests
I love hunting, basketball, golf, menswear, and art. But why? No matter how many times my wife makes me watch Pride and Prejudice, it does not interest me. I could try and force myself to enjoy fishing, but I will never feel fulfilled doing. Some might say that I was raised and groomed into my interest. If that were the case then my other siblings and I would have similar interests, and we do not. There is something inside of me that makes me interested in those things. The scary thing is that it is something that is out of my control. I didn't choose to have those interests, those interests resonated with a part of me that is impossible for me to explain.
Perhaps the greatest flaw of history is that it is colored by perspective. The ultimate goal of a historian, then, is not to discover the past, but to discover multiple sources of differing perspectives that corroborate the past. Anything less can simply not be trusted. This is why such terms as "ethnocentric" are paraded about, because we do not have all of the perspectives of the people of the time available to us, thus we can generally only use what little insight we have.
ReplyDeleteIt's so interesting that we're a composite of experiences and influences that result in our interests and tastes, and we hardly remember the things that made us. There have been critical moments that have shaped me that aren't part of my memories. But they made me who I am.
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