To Sleep or to Paint?

• Something Big: The beauty in the random                                                                                  The thing about nature that has perplexed me forever is how it is so random and yet so beautiful. The way leaves fall from trees can't be replicated by a man. It would look unnatural. But when a tree sheds its leaves it makes beautiful shapes and patterns on the ground. No two snowflakes are alike, but all similar and beautiful. Mountains in their grandeur differ wildly and from one to the next, but all are awe inspiring. The bark on a tree, grass on a lawn, even the dirt behind your house. It's random, non uniform, and yet incredible to look at. Nature has a way of captivating the eye with its mastery of making random look beautiful.
• Something Broken: Could someone please tell me whats wrong with my body?             Why is it always something weird? Something Strange? Something unknown. I've lived a mostly healthy life, but the medical problems I have had have been odd to me. I've had shingles as a 24 year old (the average age of those with shingles is over 50), Lyme disease, and other skin conditions which numerous doctors couldn't diagnose. Looking around I see people with the flu, or strep, or some other common illness. Not me! When I get sick, I find something weird to get sick with, and I don't understand it.
• Something Artistic or Man-Made: To Sleep or to Paint?                                                         I like to sleep, I think everyone does, or at the very least everyone needs to. However, when my artistic side makes an appearance (and when it does, you better beware) I seem to lose the need for sleep. I love to paint and when I start I can't stop. There have been many nights when I paint until the morning. One time years ago I stayed up for about two days straight, painting nearly nonstop. When I'm in the middle of it, I don't even feel tired. I just have this drive to progress and finish what I am working on. I don't know how this works or why. However, this inexhaustible energy which fuels my painting disappears the moment I stop. I have woken up many times in my chair or on the floor because of this. 
• Something Mysterious: Shadows                                                                                                  Walking through an empty building on a guard patrol, there is nothing to report but empty rooms and dead silence. This should instill calm, knowing everything is ok, but walking through this dark empty building at 1 A.M. does the opposite. I feel anxious and jumpy, surrounded by shadow, hearing only my footsteps and the soft buzz of the emergency exit lights. What is it about the dark that causes a fear the cuts us to the core? What is in the shadows that we are so afraid of?