Confusion will be MY Epitaph

"The Words of the Prophets are written on the Subway Walls and Tenement Halls..."

"...The Wall on which the prophets wrote... Is cracking at... the seams..."

• Something Big: Memories to last a (digital) lifetime
• When I was checking up the other day on how much memory on my Google Drive remained, I was astonished at how much I still had. Despite putting so many documents, presentations and PDF's on to the cloud in over seven years of use, I had barely used up a fraction of a percent thus far! I have no clue as to how I could possibly use up so much available space, as except I use it for... less than legal purposes, there would be no way as to fill it up to the maximum limit.
• Something Broken: The Mind is a plaything of not just the body, but itself
• I don't think like most people. I don't have the same impulses, the same drives that the average man has. While in a flight of fancy I can imagine an literary scene as if it was in real time, and yet in the same moment I could not understand how torque is calculated, despite taking and passing a college-level physics course. I can see the relationships between characters and themes as clearly as dry glass, and yet my mind fogs up when my mind needs to figure out what a person in the real world really wants or is feeling. My IQ is lauded, and yet I can't help but feel that in this interpersonal world it is less than useless. How could I ever understand how another thinks when I can't even understand my own thoughts and actions?
• Something Artistic: Confusion will be MY Epitaph
• Music is one of the highlights of my life, but it was not until recently that I had discovered a song by King Crimson called "Epitaph". A "sequel" of sorts to the Simon and Garfunkel song "the Sound of Silence", it is an ode to the dark future ahead, where civilization crumbles around us as we dunk our heads into the sand. Sometimes I have no clue what the future holds, but in other times I can imagine oh so terribly how disastrous things can become and are becoming. I dream of nuclear war, a world that is safe to no child, and to this I can only wail the song's chorus: "Yes, I feel tomorrow I'll be crying... Yes, I feel tomorrow I'll be crying..."
• Something Mysterious: How positive and joyous an emotion...
• What does it mean to love? This not an uncommon question, but unlike others I truly have no idea as to how to do so. What would my family say, if I were to tell them, "I do not know if I love you, I do not know how such is accomplished"? What would whoever should be wife say, if I were to confess, "Am I supposed to feel warm when I am beside you? Am I truly someone who cares about you, and your wellbeing?" I can feel happiness, satisfaction, and a whole host of negative emotions, but have I ever truly loved? Are the bonds I form with others as strong as steel... or as delicate as a stem?

Image Credit: "Munich Subway Station" via Wikimedia Commons