Re-humanizing Medical Treatment

By: Naomi Sharman

Observation, the long-standing basis of science, seems to be taking a backseat in today's medical community -- a change that is harming patients.

I was misdiagnosed in one of the best
hospitals in the country

I came home from a Christian proselyting mission to the East Coast when I could no longer walk well and had a collection of other severe symptoms.

I thought I was dying.

Before I came home, I was hospitalized in a Johns Hopkins satellite hospital. I was tested for multiple sclerosis, a brain tumor, and Lyme disease. After ruling out multiple sclerosis with the final MRI, the doctor started talking to me as if I were a kindergartner: "Can you come in for bi-weekly visits with a psychiatrist?" I could tell from her tone of voice that she wondered if a nut-job would know the meaning of bi-weekly.

"New York, New Yooooork!!"

• Something big: Blast from the past

Just a couple weeks ago, I had a ten-year-old ask me for a summary of the lessons I've learned in my life. I was baffled for a few seconds, but soon found my footing with some solid truths such as "try to love everyone, no matter who they are." Later, I was just thinking about how someone can even pretend to fit twenty-two years of literally constant experience into a few comments, or forty years, or ninety years. Then I thought about history books, where decades of billions of lives' worth of experience are crammed into a few sentences, and I still struggle trying to learn how to navigate a simple friendship.

• Something broken: How can I trust anyone? 

At one point during a job I had in the summer, I was handling small boxes of merchandise worth about $20,000 a box, and I was alone in a very low-security area close to where I had my backpack. It was also the sort of situation where they wouldn't have even realized it was missing till weeks after I'd already left the state. It suddenly fell upon me just how much implicit trust my boss had in me just by giving me the job--how could anyone sanely trust that much? Sometimes circumstances are just too tempting for crime or betrayal. But then again, the world would fall apart completely without it.

• Something artistic or man-made: "New York, New Yooooork!!"

I had the opportunity to work this year in New York City at the US Open Tennis Championships. I was put up by my employer in a hotel in midtown Manhattan, and from the window of my hotel room, I could see an endless line of cars framed by endless towers. I'd think, people are so incredible! But then at work, I'd be dealing face to face with these tennis players who are worldwide celebrities, and honestly? They seemed exactly like normal people. People can be so deep, so creative, so powerful, and so incredible, and yet those whom I supposed to be the vanguard of such qualities seemed so mundane in person.

• Something mysterious: Personality tests--how much accuracy is freaky?

Recently, I spent an inordinately large amount of time on the phone with a friend. How long, you ask? Nine whole hours. Why, you ask? Because we made the fatal mistake of taking the Meyers-Briggs personality test. I've tried other tests before, and to be honest, they seemed more like shotty horoscopes than insightful psychology exercises. I've always felt very independent and in control of my life, but this test made me extremely uncomfortable because it seemed to peer into my motivations and my methods with eerie veracity. But this made me ask, am I even in control at all??

Hanging on for Dear Life

• Something Big: Catching the right ledge 

All of my wilderness skills that told me not to stand on damp, mossy rock on the edge of an angry river heading towards a drop off were apparently taking this day off. One moment I was dipping my hands into the cool water for a drink, the next I was tumbling under the water. “I NEED A ROCK” was the only thing I could think. My arm struck down, caught something, and didn’t let go until the leaders of my group rescued me. 3 years later I returned to the same spot. That winter had been drier, and the river was only a small trickle. I searched for the rock that had saved my life. The entire riverbed was a uniform slab of granite with a single crack about 4 feet from the drop off. That was my ledge, and that was the only ledge. I have reflected on this event many times. What would have happened if I had put my arm down a millisecond later? What would have happened if that ledge wasn’t there for me to grab?

• Something Broken: Catching the wrong ledge

Running up a flight of stairs, my foot caught the edge of one of the steps and I landed hard. My knee hurt, but I shook it off, continued up the stairs, and went on a hike. That evening, however, my leg completely gave out. I was in a wheelchair for a few days, crutches after that. Many specialist visits and scans later, the doctors still didn’t have any answers. I had to give up ballet, missed out on fun hikes and adventures, all because I fell up stairs. UP the stairs. That shouldn’t happen.

• Something Artistic: Imprinting 

One evening I was attending one of my mother’s concerts and the piece that was playing struck me like nothing ever had before.  I came often and so was no stranger to good music, but this was different. From the first note I was captivated. For the rest of the piece I was just drinking it all in, squirming in my seat because I couldn’t physically handle the concentration of beauty I was being presented with. I described my experience to my mom, and with a thoughtful smile, she told me that that piece had been playing on a CD when I was born. I would say that that would explain why it had impacted me so much, but claiming that my subconscious remembers the music that was playing during the first few minutes of my life does not seem like a valid explanation.

• Something Mysterious: Trust

I am ok when people say that to love or to be happy is a choice. For me, choosing to trust is sometimes harder. My trust in someone seems so tied to their trustworthiness based on past actions. If I choose to trust someone who isn’t trustworthy, won’t I end up getting hurt? But if I withhold my trust from someone who deserves it, am I hurting our relationship?