Marriage Just Isn't Easy to Comprehend

Butterfly

Something Big: Marriage Just Isn’t Easy to Comprehend
I am getting married to a great guy— the best of guys—- in a few short days. For weeks, we have planned it all: the venue is booked, the dress is paid for, the cake has been ordered… Almost all the minute details have been checked off our list. However, as I was thinking about it today I suddenly had one of those I-feel-like-an-insect moments. Seemingly everyone wants to know every detail and I feel like my life has been opened up for scrutiny. People constantly ask me questions and beg for details about the wedding. I’m a bug under a microscope that people are examining with interest, feigned or real. I feel small. Incredibly small. Marriage is more than frills, flowers and frosting. It is an eternal commitment to another human being who has opinions, feelings, and habits. I hope this works…


Something Broken: I’ve got nerve… Or rather the lack of it.
For three years, I limped around because I had neuroma in my foot, which means I had damaged nerves. My left foot swelled daily and it always hurt to walk. Whenever I did, the nerves were re-pinched which prevented the healing process to take place. The doctor tried to kill the nerves by injecting dehydrated alcohol at the base of my toes, but the nerves wouldn’t die. I finally went in for surgery so I could get them removed. After a few weeks of crutches I was able to walk without limping and after several months I went on my first 4 a.m. run in years. Everything is great except the fact that my foot is numb… unless I hit it against something. When that happens, the pain shoots through my leg for an agonizingly long time. The nerves are gone, so I shouldn’t feel anything, right? And my foot still swells. I thought I got this fixed two years ago…


Something Artistic or Man-Made: Two Bodies in One
Today one of my Facebook friends posted a picture of a large sculpture. This sculpture featured two figures sitting on the ground with their backs to each other. Both had their heads bent down into their arms, and it was clear that they were extremely sorrowful. The two people were made out of wires, which crossed over and over again until they created the huge four dimensional images. Inside the wire frames were two stone children (one inside of each). Instead of being turned away, they were looking towards each other and reaching out their tiny hands. But the children are still inside their wire cages. I don’t understand how they are supposed to come out.


Something Mysterious: Whatever Happens to Those Lost Socks?
I just don’t get it. The laundry basket went from my bedroom to the laundry room and back again, and there is a sock missing. I know it didn’t leave the apartment. I know it wasn’t spirited away. I know none of my roommates stole it. So where is it?????

Image Credit: "Butterfly butterflies wings" (public domain image via Wikimedia Common's page)

What Brings Us Together?

Something Big: The mountains are calling
Every time I walk out my front door I look up at the mountains. Whether they're covered in a white blanket, glowing under sunset rays, or basking in the midday sunlight, I can't get enough. It becomes almost a staring contest because I think that the longer I look the more I'll be able to comprehend their grandeur and beauty. The fact that something so indescribably beautiful can exist baffles me. I will stare at the mountains for twenty minutes straight, and I still can't wrap my head around it. They don't look real to me, they look like romanticized scenes from a painting. I just can't understand how the earth can be so beautiful or what humans have done to deserve something so magnificent.

Something Broken: What brings us together?
I know that marriage is all the hype in life, but I just don't really understand what the point is. If anything else had only a 50% success rate, nobody would do it. If love leads people to get married, then where does that go? If two people truly love each other in a marriage, then how do they get to the point of walking away? I guess I'm with Haddaway in asking, "What is love?" If it's this all-powerful emotion that can change the world, why can't it keep people together and happy? And also, why does everyone push marriage when you only have a 50/50 chance of ending up happy in the end?

Something Artistic or Man-Made: The sound of music
Something so obvious yet so perplexing. Notes, chords, harmonies, instruments--how is it that these can have such an effect on our emotions? I can be feeling completely as I describe in the "Something Broken" section above, but throw on "Livin' For You" by Boston, and within minutes you have me borderline crying and fantasizing about love and romance. It's beyond my understanding; it has the power to reach people from all walks of life and experience. You can have a group of a hundred people with different stories, interests, background, careers, but when "Sugar We're Goin' Down" by Fall Out Boy starts playing, you will never see a more united group of people for those three and a half minutes.

Something Mysterious: Missing Someone
Five years ago, my family suffered the loss of my dad. It was hard, but people told me it would get better. Five years later, and I don't think it's gotten better; it's just gotten normal. When I think about the pain, it feels just as strong and overwhelming as it did back then. I'm just used to it now. The human heart has such phenomenal strength to overcome, but it seems that the pain of missing someone who has died is something that the heart can't overcome. How is it that in the midst of this pain you can feel so overwhelmed that you feel like you might die, but continue to go on?