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| Butterfly |
Something Big: Marriage Just Isn’t Easy to Comprehend
I am getting married to a great guy— the best of guys—- in a few short days. For weeks, we have planned it all: the venue is booked, the dress is paid for, the cake has been ordered… Almost all the minute details have been checked off our list. However, as I was thinking about it today I suddenly had one of those I-feel-like-an-insect moments. Seemingly everyone wants to know every detail and I feel like my life has been opened up for scrutiny. People constantly ask me questions and beg for details about the wedding. I’m a bug under a microscope that people are examining with interest, feigned or real. I feel small. Incredibly small. Marriage is more than frills, flowers and frosting. It is an eternal commitment to another human being who has opinions, feelings, and habits. I hope this works…
Something Broken: I’ve got nerve… Or rather the lack of it.
For three years, I limped around because I had neuroma in my foot, which means I had damaged nerves. My left foot swelled daily and it always hurt to walk. Whenever I did, the nerves were re-pinched which prevented the healing process to take place. The doctor tried to kill the nerves by injecting dehydrated alcohol at the base of my toes, but the nerves wouldn’t die. I finally went in for surgery so I could get them removed. After a few weeks of crutches I was able to walk without limping and after several months I went on my first 4 a.m. run in years. Everything is great except the fact that my foot is numb… unless I hit it against something. When that happens, the pain shoots through my leg for an agonizingly long time. The nerves are gone, so I shouldn’t feel anything, right? And my foot still swells. I thought I got this fixed two years ago…
Something Artistic or Man-Made: Two Bodies in One
Today one of my Facebook friends posted a picture of a large sculpture. This sculpture featured two figures sitting on the ground with their backs to each other. Both had their heads bent down into their arms, and it was clear that they were extremely sorrowful. The two people were made out of wires, which crossed over and over again until they created the huge four dimensional images. Inside the wire frames were two stone children (one inside of each). Instead of being turned away, they were looking towards each other and reaching out their tiny hands. But the children are still inside their wire cages. I don’t understand how they are supposed to come out.
Something Mysterious: Whatever Happens to Those Lost Socks?
I just don’t get it. The laundry basket went from my bedroom to the laundry room and back again, and there is a sock missing. I know it didn’t leave the apartment. I know it wasn’t spirited away. I know none of my roommates stole it. So where is it?????
I am getting married to a great guy— the best of guys—- in a few short days. For weeks, we have planned it all: the venue is booked, the dress is paid for, the cake has been ordered… Almost all the minute details have been checked off our list. However, as I was thinking about it today I suddenly had one of those I-feel-like-an-insect moments. Seemingly everyone wants to know every detail and I feel like my life has been opened up for scrutiny. People constantly ask me questions and beg for details about the wedding. I’m a bug under a microscope that people are examining with interest, feigned or real. I feel small. Incredibly small. Marriage is more than frills, flowers and frosting. It is an eternal commitment to another human being who has opinions, feelings, and habits. I hope this works…
Something Broken: I’ve got nerve… Or rather the lack of it.
For three years, I limped around because I had neuroma in my foot, which means I had damaged nerves. My left foot swelled daily and it always hurt to walk. Whenever I did, the nerves were re-pinched which prevented the healing process to take place. The doctor tried to kill the nerves by injecting dehydrated alcohol at the base of my toes, but the nerves wouldn’t die. I finally went in for surgery so I could get them removed. After a few weeks of crutches I was able to walk without limping and after several months I went on my first 4 a.m. run in years. Everything is great except the fact that my foot is numb… unless I hit it against something. When that happens, the pain shoots through my leg for an agonizingly long time. The nerves are gone, so I shouldn’t feel anything, right? And my foot still swells. I thought I got this fixed two years ago…
Something Artistic or Man-Made: Two Bodies in One
Today one of my Facebook friends posted a picture of a large sculpture. This sculpture featured two figures sitting on the ground with their backs to each other. Both had their heads bent down into their arms, and it was clear that they were extremely sorrowful. The two people were made out of wires, which crossed over and over again until they created the huge four dimensional images. Inside the wire frames were two stone children (one inside of each). Instead of being turned away, they were looking towards each other and reaching out their tiny hands. But the children are still inside their wire cages. I don’t understand how they are supposed to come out.
Something Mysterious: Whatever Happens to Those Lost Socks?
I just don’t get it. The laundry basket went from my bedroom to the laundry room and back again, and there is a sock missing. I know it didn’t leave the apartment. I know it wasn’t spirited away. I know none of my roommates stole it. So where is it?????
Image Credit: "Butterfly butterflies wings" (public domain image via Wikimedia Common's page)
Commitment in marriage takes so much faith-- "I hope this works" is an honest thought! And your comment also has inspired me to be more sensitive around my engaged friends-- not to be probing or judgmental. The concept of eternity is certainly beyond our mortal grasp to think through, perfectly "irrational" in that sense.
ReplyDeleteI have a theory that there is a sock monster that comes around and eats them all. Nobody has been able to prove me wrong yet.
ReplyDelete