Having been married for 35 years, I was intrigued by the wisdom of Castiglione in The Courtier. He concludes that “it is not reasonable to argue that the old can love blamelessly and more happily than the young….”
Anyone who is young and in love would most likely be quick to argue this statement. He explains the fight within each of us between our senses and our reasoning. I think most of us would agree that when we are young, “the senses…are in full strength in youth” as Castiglione says. He explains that in our youth “the soul cannot of itself clearly perceive the truth when it is carrying out the duties of governing the body.” Therefore, the soul “must appeal to the senses for its first notions.” And as a result, young men are “rebellious against reason.”
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He argues that “lovers who are more mature in age experience the contrary; for in their case the soul is no longer weighed down by the body.” He says that “they are not deceived and they possess completely the beauty they love.” He finishes by saying that “the true love of beauty is good and holy and always benefits those in whose souls the bridle of reason restrains the iniquity of the senses; and that is something the old can do far more easily than the young.”
I have now lived long enough to realize that although young love is normal for all, and will never change its ways, relying mostly on senses, it is the reasoning of enduring love that is more precious. Love that endures overcomes all that we never believed would happen to us. The old achieve this reasoning love through much heartache and endurance. Ironically, that achievement is the beauty of love.
As is normal in this earth life of ours, it is usually through our tribulations that we achieve true joy and happiness; the joy and happiness that cannot be found in our youth because time has not yet been given to us.
